What's your favorite make up look?
I rarely wear makeup actually. Just recently I have started wearing mascara more frequently. However, Lauren Luke has inspired me to try it all out, and I will as soon as I get my kits! ...Not because I want to cover up everything, but because it would be something new and different. I think it can be pretty artistic, especially with all the eyeshadow possibilities. I think the right makeup could give such a unique touch to an everyday look. As far as a specific look, I do really like pink and browns, and I think eye highlight is so pretty. I am kind of intimidated to try eyeliner, but maybe with practice I can get it to look decent.
Do you have a beauty vice?
No not really. I just wear and use whatever I feel like at the time.
What part of your body do you love?
I used to love my legs and back (well after I started gaining some weight. I used to hate my scrawny legs..and I never really liked my knees), but gaining weight has sort of changed that. I am still learning to love myself.
Who is your beauty icon?
No one really. I might be watching a show or a movie and see how someone else dresses, and that might inspire me, but normally I don't try to be like someone else.
I remember watching House one day and the character Allison Cameron was wearing a black vest and I thought she looked really cute, so then I bought myself one. Before that, I didn't really wear vests.
What beauty product makes you feel instantly sexy?
Mascara always helps. Also, aloe gel/lotion. I rub it on my legs and It makes them feel smooth and calm. It also has a cooling effect, which is especially nice if they are irritated.
How do you look after your skin?
I wash my face with a Neutrogena grapefruit scrub. It smells really good, cleans well, and helps a bit with breakouts, but my skin is far from perfect, so I doubt anything would really keep it clear completely. I also use Lubriderm and aloe products.
What is your signature scent?
I mostly use body mists and sprays instead of perfumes. They are almost always fruity, because that's what I prefer. Right now I use a lot of Dove products, and I really like Dove go fresh body mist.
What are your hair care secrets?
I probably don't take great care of my hair, since I get split ends so easily and it looks dull most of the time. I use Dove shampoo and conditioner and that's about it as far as hair care for me. It does make my hair feel nice. I just never really had great hair.
How do you pamper yourself?
I love hot baths. When I'm not feeling well that is usually where I'll be. Soaking in the tub is so relaxing.
What is your beauty pet peeve?
Well I don't really care how other people dress, because I know everyone has their own style, but it does bug me when someone goes through a store complaining about how ugly everything is, or judges what other people wear even though they aren't dressed great themselves. If all you wear is a huge sweatshirt and jeans all the time, well that's fine, but don't blame other people for being more creative, you know? I guess I just don't like it when people don't respect that people are different and have different taste.
Another pet peeve I have is not really beauty related, but it's about girls.. Girls that talk really loud bother me. It's like do you know your voice doesn't just have one volume? Yea especially when they have a high pitched voice it can really get annoying.
What would your desert island must haves be?
Well I guess material items would not really matter to me. Survival would probably be the main goal, so I would definitely need a lot of food and water. As far as emotional sanity goes, I would hope I could have another person with me....because loneliness is killer. If not, then music is definitely essential. Oh and a blanket! It's really hard for me to sleep without one.
What is one beauty product you don't think you'll ever use?
Fake eyelashes. My boyfriend doesn't even like mascara or care for the long lash look. I still use mascara though, which goes to show you that I really don't care what other people think... just what I think of myself. I'm just not into the fake things.
What is one beauty product you haven't used yet, that you would like to try in the future?
I think if I had my ears pierced I would spend way too much time and money on earrings! I would want all different styles and colors to match all of my clothes. Earrings can be a nice touch to an outfit, just like makeup. And how fun would it be to match your sun glasses to your earrings?!!! Haha, yes, getting my ears pierced would unleash something monstrous...
Finally, do you have a beauty philosophy?
If even one person finds you beautiful, then it's true, and no one else's opinion matters. Most of the beauty is found on the inside anyway. I don't care how stereotypically pretty someone is, if they don't act right then it makes them look ugly to me.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Googly Eyes
Yup... so I pretty much got googly eyes at these, but I will try to restrain from buying...eeep
Well I caved! ...
Mini Haul:
If I remember correctly, most of this is from forever21 and stylesforless if you're interested. Sorry! don't mean to enable you :-P
This pic is from the stylesforless website. I thought her outfit was pretty and kinda different.
Do you ever go to a website and see a picture of one of the models and you're just like, I want what she's wearing! ...but then you can't find anything like it on the website? I would love that yellow and grey vest! The top would be pretty cool too, but oh well, I'm not skinny anymore, so it probably wouldn't even look that great on me. That's another thing.. even though I gained a lot of weight, I still feel the skinny girl is a part of who I am. It's tough shopping because I tend to pick out things that would have looked good on me when I was thinner. It's hard to get a different mindset... I guess maybe that's why you sometimes see really heavy girls wearing clothes that don't quite fit them. It's easy to judge and be like HELLO that looks awful, but think of being on the other side. Sometimes it just doesn't sink in. Maybe they can't accept it?
Well I caved! ...Mini Haul:
If I remember correctly, most of this is from forever21 and stylesforless if you're interested. Sorry! don't mean to enable you :-P
This pic is from the stylesforless website. I thought her outfit was pretty and kinda different.
Do you ever go to a website and see a picture of one of the models and you're just like, I want what she's wearing! ...but then you can't find anything like it on the website? I would love that yellow and grey vest! The top would be pretty cool too, but oh well, I'm not skinny anymore, so it probably wouldn't even look that great on me. That's another thing.. even though I gained a lot of weight, I still feel the skinny girl is a part of who I am. It's tough shopping because I tend to pick out things that would have looked good on me when I was thinner. It's hard to get a different mindset... I guess maybe that's why you sometimes see really heavy girls wearing clothes that don't quite fit them. It's easy to judge and be like HELLO that looks awful, but think of being on the other side. Sometimes it just doesn't sink in. Maybe they can't accept it?
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Haul
So... it is probably bad, bad, bad, but the past week or so I have just been shopping like crazy. It's clothing that really gets me. I try not to let it get out of control, but sometimes I just feel like my wardrobe needs something...and well I can't resist! It would be much easier to keep myself out of the stores... if they didn't exist online! It's just too simple. I'll be browsing the Internet, see something I like, and boom I must get it. Well I do have some limitations. I don't really buy anything that's too expensive. You won't see me buying a one hundred dollar pair of jeans or anything like that. I mostly stick to the cheap shops, with a few exceptions. I don't know why I am so hooked on Internet shopping. I've had enough disappointments with purchases that you would think I would steer clear of it, but whatever, I still love my Internet shopping. Especially since there are not many good shops here in Butt town haha.
Anywho... here is what I have indulged in this week:
I got this black cardigan from Wet Seal because I thought it would be a nice addition to any outfit. From this picture I thought it seemed like it would be rather thick, but it turns out it's pretty thin. Oh well, I still adore it, and it's really cozy.
This tube top looks adorable in the picture and I was sure I would absolutely love it. It has a really cute tie back, and I dunno, it just looked good to me. Of course, I was a bit disappointed when I took it out of the package. The material was just really strange and heavier than I expected. It also was a bit too big for me. I might send it back, but I don't know if I'll actually get around to it. shame. I had never shopped at wet seal before, but they had a lot of cute things. I just think I will be more careful of them in the future because the pictures can be misleading.
Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking when I bought this. I know buying print tops online is not the best idea because it can look completely different in person. I think I wanted this because I was looking for something kind of grayish to go with this yellow vest I ordered I thought a tube top would be perfect with it, and this was the only grayish tube top I could find on wet seal (I didn't want to look at another shop because I only wanted to pay one shipping fee). Well I got it a couple days ago in the mail, and really it's not too bad.. I just have to find the right bra to go with it. My boyfriend loved it actually...he said, "Is that a boob top!? I love it!" I won't go into why he loves tube tops... lol
This lovely cardigan is from Forever21. When it comes to clothing, I really like purple for some reason. I have not received it yet, but I am hoping its satisfactory. I'll probably do an update later and include more feedback and perhaps pictures of me wearing the clothes.
I don't know why, but I have been pretty obsessed with long vests and cardigans lately. I just got a long gray vest (picture below).
It's from Stylesforless and it's pretty cute. The long striped vest in the other picture was from Charlotte Russe. It's different and I really like it. The tank is also from Charlotte Russe, and it goes effortlessly with this vest. The tank top is a more vibrant deep pink than shown in the picture (well depending on your monitor...I just looked on my boyfriend's computer and it looks like extremely bright! yikes). I don't usually buy simple tank tops online, because you can find them so easily in stores, but Charlotte Russe was having a sale called, "buy 3 tops get free shipping." I only had two tops in my bag at the time, so I thought about it, and I mean it didn't make sense to pay 6 bucks for shipping when I could find a third shirt for that price. Shipping or shirt? I would rather have an extra shirt and not pay shipping. lol. It was a no brainer.
This is the other top I from Charlotte Russe. The color, again, is much more vibrant in person. The material feels very nice and I do like it a lot. It has an interesting crochet design on the top, and I don't normally get tops like this, so it's something different from the norm.
This really bites. Okay so... I had this Macy's gift card that I used to buy a dress a while back. After that there was still ten dollars left on the card. So I was browsing the clearance section of Macy's online store and I came across this yellow vest. I thought it was kind of cool and the price went from like $50 to $9.99 so I ordered it...what else was I going to find at Macy's for ten bucks anyway? I got this the other day and well I was not too impressed with it. I would like it a lot better if the color was a light yellow like I had hoped. It's a really awkward yellow and I am not too fond of it. I don't really care for the material either...it is sort of old ladyish.The buttons and the top of the back also have this strange rainbow pattern. I don't know if I will be wearing it anytime soon, but it's not worth returning it.
Here are a few of the things I'm still waiting on in the mail. I'll update later on each of them and let you know what I think. Fingers crossed that they meet expectations. I at least hope the black cropped cardigan works out because I've been wanting something like that for a while now for my dresses.
These are some pieces I have had my eye on, but I don't think I will be buying them. I really have to stop buying everything just because I like it! I have to tell myself that I don't need everything.. some things are just for looking at. The purple dress I almost bought, but then I decided against it. I wasn't sure it would look that good on me anyway. The lighter color tube top is adorable tho, and I think I would have bought it if it wasn't sold out already. It has a really pretty floral embroidery if you look at it closer.
The tie back is very feminine and I love the color as well. But sold out in my size...sad face :(
But it's from Stylesforless if you want it and wear a small. They have some cute things!
This...I just like it for some reason. Not sure if I'll end up buying it?
I had been wanting to try this for a while, so I finally snuck over to the makeup department at Walmart and snatched it when my boyfriend wasn't looking. Lol...he was so happy about that.... hahaha. It's a good product, but not as great as I expected. I might actually like my Neutrogena version more, although this is good because it's waterproof. Love the colors though. Speaking of colors... I just ordered some By Lauren Luke makeup kits! I was anticipating the release back in April, but never got around to buying them until just yesterday. I got the My Smokey Classics and My Vintage Glams. I cannot wait to try them out! I will most certainly be updating about that in the near future, well whenever I get them.
I got a wii!!! For FREE! omg it's awesome! Yep. It came with a wiimote, nunchuk, and wii sports. Then my boyfriend and I went to Hastings and picked up some games. He had a 20% off coupon and Hastings was having a buy "two used games get the third for $1 dollar" sale. I ended up getting mariokart w/ the wheel, super paper mario, and wii play that came with another wii mote, and another nunchuk...my boyfriend also got a couple 360 games...all for a lot less then it would normally be!
Anywho... here is what I have indulged in this week:
I got this black cardigan from Wet Seal because I thought it would be a nice addition to any outfit. From this picture I thought it seemed like it would be rather thick, but it turns out it's pretty thin. Oh well, I still adore it, and it's really cozy.
This tube top looks adorable in the picture and I was sure I would absolutely love it. It has a really cute tie back, and I dunno, it just looked good to me. Of course, I was a bit disappointed when I took it out of the package. The material was just really strange and heavier than I expected. It also was a bit too big for me. I might send it back, but I don't know if I'll actually get around to it. shame. I had never shopped at wet seal before, but they had a lot of cute things. I just think I will be more careful of them in the future because the pictures can be misleading.
Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking when I bought this. I know buying print tops online is not the best idea because it can look completely different in person. I think I wanted this because I was looking for something kind of grayish to go with this yellow vest I ordered I thought a tube top would be perfect with it, and this was the only grayish tube top I could find on wet seal (I didn't want to look at another shop because I only wanted to pay one shipping fee). Well I got it a couple days ago in the mail, and really it's not too bad.. I just have to find the right bra to go with it. My boyfriend loved it actually...he said, "Is that a boob top!? I love it!" I won't go into why he loves tube tops... lol
This lovely cardigan is from Forever21. When it comes to clothing, I really like purple for some reason. I have not received it yet, but I am hoping its satisfactory. I'll probably do an update later and include more feedback and perhaps pictures of me wearing the clothes.
I don't know why, but I have been pretty obsessed with long vests and cardigans lately. I just got a long gray vest (picture below).
It's from Stylesforless and it's pretty cute. The long striped vest in the other picture was from Charlotte Russe. It's different and I really like it. The tank is also from Charlotte Russe, and it goes effortlessly with this vest. The tank top is a more vibrant deep pink than shown in the picture (well depending on your monitor...I just looked on my boyfriend's computer and it looks like extremely bright! yikes). I don't usually buy simple tank tops online, because you can find them so easily in stores, but Charlotte Russe was having a sale called, "buy 3 tops get free shipping." I only had two tops in my bag at the time, so I thought about it, and I mean it didn't make sense to pay 6 bucks for shipping when I could find a third shirt for that price. Shipping or shirt? I would rather have an extra shirt and not pay shipping. lol. It was a no brainer.
This is the other top I from Charlotte Russe. The color, again, is much more vibrant in person. The material feels very nice and I do like it a lot. It has an interesting crochet design on the top, and I don't normally get tops like this, so it's something different from the norm.
This really bites. Okay so... I had this Macy's gift card that I used to buy a dress a while back. After that there was still ten dollars left on the card. So I was browsing the clearance section of Macy's online store and I came across this yellow vest. I thought it was kind of cool and the price went from like $50 to $9.99 so I ordered it...what else was I going to find at Macy's for ten bucks anyway? I got this the other day and well I was not too impressed with it. I would like it a lot better if the color was a light yellow like I had hoped. It's a really awkward yellow and I am not too fond of it. I don't really care for the material either...it is sort of old ladyish.The buttons and the top of the back also have this strange rainbow pattern. I don't know if I will be wearing it anytime soon, but it's not worth returning it.
Here are a few of the things I'm still waiting on in the mail. I'll update later on each of them and let you know what I think. Fingers crossed that they meet expectations. I at least hope the black cropped cardigan works out because I've been wanting something like that for a while now for my dresses.
These are some pieces I have had my eye on, but I don't think I will be buying them. I really have to stop buying everything just because I like it! I have to tell myself that I don't need everything.. some things are just for looking at. The purple dress I almost bought, but then I decided against it. I wasn't sure it would look that good on me anyway. The lighter color tube top is adorable tho, and I think I would have bought it if it wasn't sold out already. It has a really pretty floral embroidery if you look at it closer.
The tie back is very feminine and I love the color as well. But sold out in my size...sad face :(
But it's from Stylesforless if you want it and wear a small. They have some cute things!
This...I just like it for some reason. Not sure if I'll end up buying it?
I had been wanting to try this for a while, so I finally snuck over to the makeup department at Walmart and snatched it when my boyfriend wasn't looking. Lol...he was so happy about that.... hahaha. It's a good product, but not as great as I expected. I might actually like my Neutrogena version more, although this is good because it's waterproof. Love the colors though. Speaking of colors... I just ordered some By Lauren Luke makeup kits! I was anticipating the release back in April, but never got around to buying them until just yesterday. I got the My Smokey Classics and My Vintage Glams. I cannot wait to try them out! I will most certainly be updating about that in the near future, well whenever I get them.
I got a wii!!! For FREE! omg it's awesome! Yep. It came with a wiimote, nunchuk, and wii sports. Then my boyfriend and I went to Hastings and picked up some games. He had a 20% off coupon and Hastings was having a buy "two used games get the third for $1 dollar" sale. I ended up getting mariokart w/ the wheel, super paper mario, and wii play that came with another wii mote, and another nunchuk...my boyfriend also got a couple 360 games...all for a lot less then it would normally be!
Cooking
I am not the greatest cook in the world, but sometimes I get inspired and decide to try making something new. If it turns out good, I get really excited and save the recipe for future reference. One time my boyfriend and I decided to make a homemade banana cream pie, and omg it turned out amazing! We even got it all to ourselves because our roomies were gone for the weekend. We made Indian tacos one time because I had never had them before. Boy those were tastey! Another time I made american goulash, because my dad used to make that and I hadn't had it in forever. It turned out pretty good. A couple weeks ago I made homemade Sesame Chicken for the first time. It was SO GOOD. I am craving it now... gosh talking about food has really made me hungry... I think I am going to get some food.
What's up Part 2: Whooping Cough?
Okay what else is going on my life? Hmm... well I have had this awful cough for 7 weeks now. It pretty much sucks but oh well. It started May 12th (yes I know the exact date. I even kept track of my symptoms in case I decided to see a doctor...which I tend to avoid...). I was in New Jersey and we went for a hike that day and I was so exhausted. That evening I started coughing pretty bad, but I didn't think much of it. So I went to bed and the next morning I woke up miserable. My tongue felt swollen, my throat hurt, and my ears ached like hell. I didn't know what was wrong, but my sister's boyfriend searched the symptoms and he said dehyrdation has all those symptoms. I thought it made sense since I had been hiking the day before, maybe I just didn't get enough water or something? ...yea dehydration my ass... so pretty much the pain and coughing continued for a week and while I was in Vermont at my mom's. On May 19th I had a fever, bad enough to worry my boyfriend. When we woke up in the morning I had soaked the sheets in sweat. My fever only lasted two or three days, but the cough remained and the pain. On May 21st I started antibiotics, and I took those for ten days as well as pain reliever whenever necessary. For the last few days of treatment I was back in Montana. The antibiotics seemed to make the sore throat go away and most of the pain, but that awful cough wasn't budging.
Around June 10th I started to lose my voice. I could not talk very well for a few days. One day I woke up feeling sick and I went to the bathroom and threw up. Another day I coughed so hard that I threw up on the bed. eeew. On the 13th my throat started hurting again and my tonsils felt swollen. I noticed a lot of white pus in the back of my throat. Then a day or two later that pain went away, but I was still coughing. Then about a week ago I got a runny nose and started sneezing a lot. I am still sneezing now and then now, but not as much. I think within the past week I started retching, which is when you gag... well you feel like you are throwing up but you don't. That happenes now and then, but that cough is the worst. And it is not just any ordinary cough. It is a very severe chronic cough. I get these coughing fits and my throat tightens and I feel like I can't breathe, which makes me cough even worse. Sometimes I would cough so hard my chest would hurt and I'd be in pain. Ugh it's nasty nasty. I have never experienced this kind of cough before, and especially not one that lasted so long. It's been 7 weeks nonstop. But it's strange because I don't really feel too sick most of the time when I'm not coughing. For a while I thought maybe it's asthma or something. I still don't know what it is, but I did read about whooping cough, and it sounds a lot like what I am going through. Well whatever it is, I just hope it goes away soon!
Around June 10th I started to lose my voice. I could not talk very well for a few days. One day I woke up feeling sick and I went to the bathroom and threw up. Another day I coughed so hard that I threw up on the bed. eeew. On the 13th my throat started hurting again and my tonsils felt swollen. I noticed a lot of white pus in the back of my throat. Then a day or two later that pain went away, but I was still coughing. Then about a week ago I got a runny nose and started sneezing a lot. I am still sneezing now and then now, but not as much. I think within the past week I started retching, which is when you gag... well you feel like you are throwing up but you don't. That happenes now and then, but that cough is the worst. And it is not just any ordinary cough. It is a very severe chronic cough. I get these coughing fits and my throat tightens and I feel like I can't breathe, which makes me cough even worse. Sometimes I would cough so hard my chest would hurt and I'd be in pain. Ugh it's nasty nasty. I have never experienced this kind of cough before, and especially not one that lasted so long. It's been 7 weeks nonstop. But it's strange because I don't really feel too sick most of the time when I'm not coughing. For a while I thought maybe it's asthma or something. I still don't know what it is, but I did read about whooping cough, and it sounds a lot like what I am going through. Well whatever it is, I just hope it goes away soon!
What's up: College
So I just felt like making a post about the things that are going on in my life now. Not that it's anything exciting... haha... This will probably end up pretty long, so I think I will break it up into different posts.
COLLEGE:
Over a week ago (June 19th) I had my new student registration/orientation day. I finally transferred to Montana Tech after a year of taking advantage of online classes from a Vermont school. Originally I was going to the University of Vermont as a Zoology major. I did that for a year and a half and then a bunch of drama happened and I went to the Community College of Vermont for a semester as a Liberal Studies major. It was only a temporary thing...and I was able to take online classes through there, which allowed me to stay in Montana with my boyfriend for the last year. teehee... But alas it is time for me to return to the traditional classroom! So I applied to Montana Tech and got accepted as a Biology major.
For a while I couldn't decide if I should go to MTech, UM, or back to UVM. UVM was the better choice financially and major-wise, but I knew I would probably get depressed if I had to go back to a long-distance relationship. Also, I was starting to doubt if Zoology was the path I wanted to take. Don't get me wrong, I adore it and it really fascinates me, but careerwise I was unsure if it would be right for me. I started to explore other options, and for a while I really thought I would try going into massage therapy. That makes me laugh now because I have no idea how I thought of that...it's really random.
But yea, that didn't last long. Soon I decided to stick with Biology type fields. I was hesitant to go to MTech because the Biology program didn't look promising. It wasn't that it's not a good program, no not at all, I think it's a great program. It's just that it requires a senior thesis and a few public speaking classes that terrify me beyond belief...you know having social anxiety and whatnot... Not to mention my courses from UVM did not transfer that well, so it would probably take me another 4 years to get my bachelors degree... I just don't think I can last that long.
But I finally did decide to go to Montana Tech, because I knew that my happiness is key to my success. When I am depressed I tend to get discouraged and end up in a bad situation. It happened in High School and in College once, and I don't really wanna go there again. I know I will be much happier here with my boyfriend and my new friends. Still, the four year thing really bothered me, so I decided to look into two year programs. For a while I thought maybe going into the medical field would be best. Jobwise it seemed good and it wouldn't involve a whole lot of schooling if I did something like radiology or medical assisting. If I did radiology I could then go to school for ultrasound, which kind of interests me. I did a lot of research and for a while it seemed like I was gonna open a new door of opportunities. I really had my mind set on this, but of course I can never stick to anything. I change my mind so fricken much! But I did send in a change of major form to do the Medical Assistant major, and when I went to my orientation this was what I had in mind. They still had me listed as Biology when they gave me my advising packet, and I was already preregistered for biology classes...but the lady I talked to told me that my new advisor would give me a call to help me register for the right courses.
So I went home and what do you know...while waiting for this call I changed my mind yet again! I really got to thinking about it, and well, medical assistant is probably not the best choice for me. I don't know how well I could handle taking someone's blood... or how well I could deal with people in general. Yep so I pretty much lost faith in my ability to get through that program... Even though it would only take me 1 1/2 to 2 years to complete. I think that might be the problem.. this is going to be my fourth year attending college..I would only end up with an associate's degree after 6 years? I really do want my bachelors degree. I feel like I deserve it. Honestly sometimes I don't care what I major in or what kind of job I end up with, I just want that fricken degree already. That probably sounds odd... but I guess I just want to get it done with.
So there I was once again...completely confused as to what I was going to do with my life. Sometimes I would consider leaving school altogether...but I know that would be a very bad choice. Like I said. I just want to get that degree already! I've been through a lot and I need something to show for it. So this past week I was looking into other bachelor degrees that MTech offers. I thought maybe Liberal Studies would be good, since I don't really know what I want to do. I also assumed that the curriculum had a lot of leeway, so most of my already earned credits would apply. But nope, not true, not true. I would have to take a lot of history and english classes. YUCK! I am definitely more of a science and math gal. I don't mind english and I do well in it, but History is definitely not my forte. Then I looked into this general science major, and actually it didn't sound too bad, plus I could probably finish in 2 or 2 1/2 years if I did that right.
I could finish sooner if I can get some of my Chemistry and Biology courses to transfer properly. There were some courses that transfered over as electives, but I think they should have transfered as specific courses. If you read the course descriptions from the two schools they cover the same topics. So WHAT THE HECK! Anyways, so hopefully they reconsider it, and if not, that sucks but oh well. So with this General Science major I have to do two minors. Biology is an obvious choice, but i am not sure what to do for the second one yet. I sent in another change of major form, and now I am waiting to hear from my new advisor so I can register for classes.
So pretty much that orientation day was pointless, but oh well my boyfriend and I got free lunch hehe. I remember when I went to my UVM orientation I was nervous because it was a weekend thing and I would have to sleep there and everything. But it turned out to be a lot of fun and I really enjoyed it. One of the nights they had like a mini fair and I even got a henna tattoo. I had asked for a sun, but I guess the lady didn't speak very good english...so I got some sort of lotus flower design I think. It was so cool! I want another one actually, so maybe if I go to the fair this year we can try to find a henna booth. That would be sweetaki.
I wish I had a pic of the one I had, but I don't. Here are some random google images though.
COLLEGE:
Over a week ago (June 19th) I had my new student registration/orientation day. I finally transferred to Montana Tech after a year of taking advantage of online classes from a Vermont school. Originally I was going to the University of Vermont as a Zoology major. I did that for a year and a half and then a bunch of drama happened and I went to the Community College of Vermont for a semester as a Liberal Studies major. It was only a temporary thing...and I was able to take online classes through there, which allowed me to stay in Montana with my boyfriend for the last year. teehee... But alas it is time for me to return to the traditional classroom! So I applied to Montana Tech and got accepted as a Biology major.
For a while I couldn't decide if I should go to MTech, UM, or back to UVM. UVM was the better choice financially and major-wise, but I knew I would probably get depressed if I had to go back to a long-distance relationship. Also, I was starting to doubt if Zoology was the path I wanted to take. Don't get me wrong, I adore it and it really fascinates me, but careerwise I was unsure if it would be right for me. I started to explore other options, and for a while I really thought I would try going into massage therapy. That makes me laugh now because I have no idea how I thought of that...it's really random.
But yea, that didn't last long. Soon I decided to stick with Biology type fields. I was hesitant to go to MTech because the Biology program didn't look promising. It wasn't that it's not a good program, no not at all, I think it's a great program. It's just that it requires a senior thesis and a few public speaking classes that terrify me beyond belief...you know having social anxiety and whatnot... Not to mention my courses from UVM did not transfer that well, so it would probably take me another 4 years to get my bachelors degree... I just don't think I can last that long.
But I finally did decide to go to Montana Tech, because I knew that my happiness is key to my success. When I am depressed I tend to get discouraged and end up in a bad situation. It happened in High School and in College once, and I don't really wanna go there again. I know I will be much happier here with my boyfriend and my new friends. Still, the four year thing really bothered me, so I decided to look into two year programs. For a while I thought maybe going into the medical field would be best. Jobwise it seemed good and it wouldn't involve a whole lot of schooling if I did something like radiology or medical assisting. If I did radiology I could then go to school for ultrasound, which kind of interests me. I did a lot of research and for a while it seemed like I was gonna open a new door of opportunities. I really had my mind set on this, but of course I can never stick to anything. I change my mind so fricken much! But I did send in a change of major form to do the Medical Assistant major, and when I went to my orientation this was what I had in mind. They still had me listed as Biology when they gave me my advising packet, and I was already preregistered for biology classes...but the lady I talked to told me that my new advisor would give me a call to help me register for the right courses.
So I went home and what do you know...while waiting for this call I changed my mind yet again! I really got to thinking about it, and well, medical assistant is probably not the best choice for me. I don't know how well I could handle taking someone's blood... or how well I could deal with people in general. Yep so I pretty much lost faith in my ability to get through that program... Even though it would only take me 1 1/2 to 2 years to complete. I think that might be the problem.. this is going to be my fourth year attending college..I would only end up with an associate's degree after 6 years? I really do want my bachelors degree. I feel like I deserve it. Honestly sometimes I don't care what I major in or what kind of job I end up with, I just want that fricken degree already. That probably sounds odd... but I guess I just want to get it done with.
So there I was once again...completely confused as to what I was going to do with my life. Sometimes I would consider leaving school altogether...but I know that would be a very bad choice. Like I said. I just want to get that degree already! I've been through a lot and I need something to show for it. So this past week I was looking into other bachelor degrees that MTech offers. I thought maybe Liberal Studies would be good, since I don't really know what I want to do. I also assumed that the curriculum had a lot of leeway, so most of my already earned credits would apply. But nope, not true, not true. I would have to take a lot of history and english classes. YUCK! I am definitely more of a science and math gal. I don't mind english and I do well in it, but History is definitely not my forte. Then I looked into this general science major, and actually it didn't sound too bad, plus I could probably finish in 2 or 2 1/2 years if I did that right.
I could finish sooner if I can get some of my Chemistry and Biology courses to transfer properly. There were some courses that transfered over as electives, but I think they should have transfered as specific courses. If you read the course descriptions from the two schools they cover the same topics. So WHAT THE HECK! Anyways, so hopefully they reconsider it, and if not, that sucks but oh well. So with this General Science major I have to do two minors. Biology is an obvious choice, but i am not sure what to do for the second one yet. I sent in another change of major form, and now I am waiting to hear from my new advisor so I can register for classes.
So pretty much that orientation day was pointless, but oh well my boyfriend and I got free lunch hehe. I remember when I went to my UVM orientation I was nervous because it was a weekend thing and I would have to sleep there and everything. But it turned out to be a lot of fun and I really enjoyed it. One of the nights they had like a mini fair and I even got a henna tattoo. I had asked for a sun, but I guess the lady didn't speak very good english...so I got some sort of lotus flower design I think. It was so cool! I want another one actually, so maybe if I go to the fair this year we can try to find a henna booth. That would be sweetaki.
I wish I had a pic of the one I had, but I don't. Here are some random google images though.
Boxed Dollie
Here is a collection of pictures of me that are kind of risque. I think they are from last fall and winter. I just get in these moods sometimes... Maybe it comes from the whole modeling thing I left unexplored...wondering what could have been. When I was fourteen or so I went to a modeling audition. I went there with everyday clothes, unstyled hair, and no make up. When I got there I felt out of place because most of the other girls were dressed in fancy dresses and had their hair and make up done. Still, I did my thing and went home not really thinking too much of it. Eventually I got a call and was told I had been picked. Supposedly out of the hundred or so people, they only picked 6. I was pretty proud to be one of them, but I didn't go through with it. I don't really know why. Maybe it was just one of those things you do just to know that you can. I mean, I didn't really want to be a model, and honestly I don't think I'm that photogenic. It's just something I think about now and then and think what if? Well it doesn't matter now anyway. I gained like thirty pounds in the past year.
Wow putting that out there really makes it hit home... that's insane! I never thought I'd be in this position. My whole life up until a year or two ago I had been really skinny. I hated the way people stared at me. I knew they thought I was anorexic or something. I definitely was NOT anorexic and it always pissed me off that people could not accept the fact that I was naturally that skinny. I mean seriously, I love food... Especially junk food omg. It's so bad. As a teenager I could eat anything I wanted without gaining weight. I guess that was just my metabolism. It might also have had to do with the fact that I only drank water and my mom and I don't drive, so we pretty much walked everywhere. I have a feeling that if I started walking as much as I used to I might drop quite a few pounds just from that.
Thinking back I remember how much I hated being so skinny. I actually wanted to gain weight. When I finally weighed over 100 pounds I was excited. Then I gradually started to gain weight, and I loved it. I loved when I finally had a butt and breasts. lol. I loved when I started to fill out my jeans a bit. If I could go back to that happy in between phase, I would in a heart beat.
Now... now I am probably overweight...I am not liking it one bit. I want to fit into my old clothes and I don't want to be fat. I wouldn't call myself fat right now, but I know if I keep this up I could very well end up that way. eeek no good. I know I don't want to let myself go like that, but the problem is I cannot stay motivated. For a while I was doing ab work outs. Then I got bored of that and stopped for a while. Then I started dancing everyday for a week or two. Then I stopped again for a while. I went out and bought a jump rope recently. That is a really good workout, but almost too much for me right now. I am so out of shape. So for the last four days I have been running for at least a half hour each day. It's simple, easy, and I just listen to music and almost enjoy it. So we'll see if I can stay committed to that....
So anyway, those pictures at the beginning are me probably at 130 pounds or so, which was ten pounds more than I wanted to be at the time. I'd gadly go back to that weight if I could.
This wasn't the skinniest I had been, but even here I think I was probably too skinny.
This is summer 2007 I think?
I think I am starting to look better. This was Halloween of 2007. I was 19 at the time.
This must've been spring of '08. I was 20 at the time
The above pic was May 2008. 20 years old
By the end of Summer '08 I had gained 11 pounds.
Valentine's Day 2009
So here are two pics of me now. Summer 2009 21 years old.
Lets Get Artsy Fartsy
So pretty much I have not taken an art class since middle school, so I don't know much about the rules of art or any special techniques they probably teach you if you take art. Honestly, I think in some ways that's a good thing. It never really made sense to me for art to have "rules". To me art is a form of expression, and I would rather just do whatever I feel like doing. Anyway, here are some pictures of my more recent projects. They are not very good compared to professional standards, but I enjoyed making them and that's what really counts, right?
A friend wanted me to paint with her, so I did, and this is the result. It had seemed like forever since I picked up a paint brush.
I realized how much I miss painting, so my boyfriend and I went to Wally World to get me my own supplies. The first thing I painted was this hibiscus flower. I don't know why, but I tend to paint flowers when I don't feel like thinking too hard about what to paint.
Here we have my first attempt at a duct tape wallet. I'd say it was pretty successful, since I actually use it :). I love owls and I knew that's what I wanted, so I searched tattoo owls on google and came across these. Cool huh? I think if I ever got a tattoo it might be something like that, just really small and somewhere inconspicuous.
After seeing my wallet, my sister asked me to make her an orange DC wallet...so there it is. It was a pain in the butt to make the ID holder, but I think it was a nice touch. I shipped this to my sister, and she loved it. Our friend Emily also loved it, and she has been begging me to make her a twilight one. I haven't really been motivated to make another one yet, but we shall see.
Sometimes I just get in this mood where I like to decoupage random things. This was just a plain black journal, then I decided to decoupage this paper onto it, probably because I love elephants.
Here is another decoupage journal. I cut up little Valentines for this one.
This is the card I made my boyfriend for Valentine's Day. I drew the owls and hearts on some rose paper with permanent marker, then decoupaged over it to give it a nice finish and make it sturdy.
Okay, so this isn't exactly artistic, but since I mentioned Valentine's Day, I thought I'd include this. My boyfriend says he is not very creative, but I think he doesn't give himself enough credit. As I mentioned before, hibiscus is my favorite flower, and I'll admit that is not the easiest flower to get a hold of. So instead of getting me a bouquet of my favorite flowers, he got me dried hibiscus petals for tea making. It's a beautiful tea and a neat twist on the flower-giving cliche. Plus, the dried petals smell divine!
A friend wanted me to paint with her, so I did, and this is the result. It had seemed like forever since I picked up a paint brush.
I realized how much I miss painting, so my boyfriend and I went to Wally World to get me my own supplies. The first thing I painted was this hibiscus flower. I don't know why, but I tend to paint flowers when I don't feel like thinking too hard about what to paint.
Here we have my first attempt at a duct tape wallet. I'd say it was pretty successful, since I actually use it :). I love owls and I knew that's what I wanted, so I searched tattoo owls on google and came across these. Cool huh? I think if I ever got a tattoo it might be something like that, just really small and somewhere inconspicuous.
After seeing my wallet, my sister asked me to make her an orange DC wallet...so there it is. It was a pain in the butt to make the ID holder, but I think it was a nice touch. I shipped this to my sister, and she loved it. Our friend Emily also loved it, and she has been begging me to make her a twilight one. I haven't really been motivated to make another one yet, but we shall see.
Sometimes I just get in this mood where I like to decoupage random things. This was just a plain black journal, then I decided to decoupage this paper onto it, probably because I love elephants.
Here is another decoupage journal. I cut up little Valentines for this one.
This is the card I made my boyfriend for Valentine's Day. I drew the owls and hearts on some rose paper with permanent marker, then decoupaged over it to give it a nice finish and make it sturdy.
Okay, so this isn't exactly artistic, but since I mentioned Valentine's Day, I thought I'd include this. My boyfriend says he is not very creative, but I think he doesn't give himself enough credit. As I mentioned before, hibiscus is my favorite flower, and I'll admit that is not the easiest flower to get a hold of. So instead of getting me a bouquet of my favorite flowers, he got me dried hibiscus petals for tea making. It's a beautiful tea and a neat twist on the flower-giving cliche. Plus, the dried petals smell divine!
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